Monday, September 29, 2008: Coming Back Home

I am sitting on the plane looking at the images flashing on the small television screen in front of me:
Temperature: Really fucking cold
Distance: 1860 miles to go
Altitude: I’m on an airplane. Guess.

This time, no tears, and a sleepy Aaron sits next to me writing in his journal. I’m coming home.

The first chapter of my new adventure is drawing to a close. Things came full circle at the farm. April started out with tears, an aching heart, a wind of excitement as new possibilities rested at the gates of the Heathrow airport. Our course started out with 14 students and ended with 12. There were vehicle breakdowns, and emotional breakdowns. And then there was the breakdown of my soul and reinvention of self. I am coming home a trapeze artist and future circus performer, and still in some ways, I am coming home broken, though this worries me little because I know it is part of the growing process. I am coming home, and I anticipate what is to happen when I am greeted with my old life again. I can hardly fathom having warm water run freely from my tap. I have not touched a microwave in six months. I am excited that I will not have to worry about whether water and electricity will be available to me from hour to hour. I will have color back in my wardrobe once again.

Aaron and I met Carola in Camden Town last night. I started to cry when we left. Up until that point, I wouldn’t allow myself to think what life would be like without her bright spirit from day-to-day. I’m also already missing Disa profusely, though I know I’ll be seeing her in a matter of a couple months, at most. Life just doesn’t seem feel right without my Giggle Twin.

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I now sit in the Detroit airport waiting to hop on a plane to Cleveland. My heart is jumping so rapidly that it’s making my body bounce up and down uncontrollably. Aaron has been poking fun at my excitement. It’s very strange not having to convert pounds to dollars and being surrounded by American accents and vernacular again.

My whirlwind tour around Europe was as amazing and as deeply transforming as I could have hoped. No, it was not a fairytale journey…it was real, and it was brilliant.

Highlights:

- Sweet reunion with my beautiful heart at Circus HQ. I can’t stop joy from bubbling from my soul. I laugh and giggle constantly. Constant and continuous hugs.

- Hippy juggling festival in Bristol and crashing on the couch of James, our wonderfully generous host. The festival reminded me of a small-scale circus arts Woodstock of the 70’s. I got to hula hoop in a bikini top and enjoy the last rays of the UK summer. And James rocked…so cultured and kind. He insisted we take his bed to sleep in.

- Exploring CERN in Switzerland where Aaron’s sparkling superhero friend, Kathy, works. Woah. There’s some crazy research going down there.

- Hanging out at Kathy’s flat with her friends for an evening of home cooked gourmet food, delicious wine, and many laughs.

- Salvidor Dali museum complete with bathroom sinks lining the ‘crest of the crescent wall’ (as Mr. Bonk would describe it). Dali works are alive, mind blowing and brilliant. I want to reside in the mind of this twisted artist.

- Barcelona, sweet Barcelona. Eat at Sinatra restaurant, stay in fun and funky hostel.

- Back to London! Final meal at InSpiral (AMAZING vegetarian restaurant…very hip)…and much conversation with Carola. As we leave, my hands ache from talking so much. My heart aches as I say “goodbye for now” to someone so close to my heart.

- Fast realization that Bonk and I make a kick-ass team. We fucking rock. =D

My heart is in a good place. Disa and I bought Ann’s doubles trapeze bar and will be practicing over our winter break. This means that we’ll have to find a meeting point somewhere. The Zimbi Sisters continue to fly!

I have much to do before the next circus season starts. Rigging to acquire, affairs to put in order, family to visit and spoil, friends with whom I desperately need to reunite.